Wednesday, December 24, 2008

X'Mas Eve

what a boring day.Even thought i'm working,i still feel boring.My mind is arguing that whether i want to join my friends X'mas party or not,or else i just go home and play games.I'm feel that my life was boring since i was not in college.
No friends,no entertainment,i've nothing to do except working and play games.I'm want to study but when i was holding my book i really feel that going to throw ff the book.i really think to give up,but i have no choice.What can i do?
I can pretend i'm ok,happy,cheerful in front of my friends but when come to i'm alone i really feel sad.I know my parents was very support me,but i don't know how to tell them my feeling.they alwaystell me "aiya is like that one la."I know they are care to me but i really don'y know what i want now.
What i can do now is day past a day,whating the time coming.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

From my heart

Suddenly i feel very lonely.No friends accompany.When time they working I'm off day,when they off i have to work.When i want to go shopping they almost close cause i finish work at 8pm.Hmmm I started feel that my life so bored.When can i changed it??

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

My off day

Yesterday is my off day.Hmmmm early in morning wake up by my mom.She was SMS me.i force to wake up 0915.I thought that today is my off day so that i can sleep more late.

What was it he first question my mom ask me is 'how many weight i loss??' heheh so i have go weight myself....Wah now is 75kg.last month is 78kg.i'm so happy.My mom ask me to keep it and loss the weight to 70kg.I will try my best to do that.

I have been so busy when i was off.after meet my mom is about 1200 than i ride to Pulau Tikus to have lunch with my friend.After that is about 1300 i went to HQ to visit my cat than my second elder brother call me,he ask me fetch him at jetty.So i ride back home take helmet and go jetty.I bring him to have his lunch.Hmmmm long time i dint see him,is about After that my elder brother send him back to jetty is about 1640.

After my elder brother send him back he came to my house to chit chat.Long time we dint have this time to chat.I cook for him to eat.I really miss last time when we stay together.When he go home is about 1830.i tidy myself and take bath when i bring some dinner gown to my grandma house to borrow my mom.i stay there for a while than i went to HQ to have meeting.

I wait there till 2130 they also haven start the meeting.Haiz....everytime also like that.I end my days at 0200 cause busy with play computer games.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Last night i call him said need his help to go Digi centre settle my thing.He very quickly say 'sure,meet you there tomorrow.'
This morning i saw him,i think that i still miss him,am i still in love with him?I also don't know.Almost three years we break,sometime i still will think of him,but i don't know what my heart want.i ask him many time can we be like last time,he said NO.Why am i still want him?
I really hope that this thing can settle,i try not to think of him,but he just suddenly came in my mind.What can i do??

Friday, December 12, 2008


In this two month holiday i was busy in working.Hmm it can said that i never have my holiday also.When ever i off i will working at others place.i Just feel that i don't want to stay at home.I will getting crazy when i was in my room and look at my book.
I think that want to give up,but how i going to paid my bond and contract.I just wondering that which company would like to paid my bond.Hehhehe i thin i must be crazy already.That why no matter how i also have to finish my study if not i better go to heaven.If i can.
Few week later i have to work in hospital,i really don't want but i have to .I scared to face other people.i scared to listen what they say and laugh.I feel very embarrass to back hospital,but i have no choice.
I promise my mother befor to cotinue study,i promise everyone,but now i really feel want to study.When ever i go back to my room,i really want to throw all my book.I jus hope that i ant finish my study.i hope that when i reapplyfor next year they accept me,if not i really dont knw what to do.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


她是城市的白领,他是城市的扛包工人.高中毕业后,两个人划着完全不同的青春轨迹.可是, 他们依然保持着恋人的关系.仅仅是保持着.
白天,她在公司里喝正宗的雀巢咖啡,下班后,她吃他买来的廉价的冰棍;中午,她品味着公司里精致的饭菜,晚上, 他带她去脏兮兮的饭馆吃并不正宗的兰州拉面.她认为,自己的生活太不协调.这样的恋情,从开始的那一天, 便仿佛注定了某一种结局. 他每天去接她,然后送到她所居住的白领公寓的电梯口, 道一声晚安,匆匆离去.那天她突然想撒娇,她说背我上去吧!他看了看电梯,电梯运转良好, 然后他回头,说,好.他没问理由.他背着她,从一楼开始,慢慢向上爬.爬到一半他累了,他说休息一下好不好,她突然来了兴致, 娇嗔着说不行.他就真的没有休息,一直爬到她的寓所所在的13楼. 她问他累不累,他说累,比扛包累.她知道他说的是真的 , 她有了一丝感动.但他们还是分手了.因为有时候,仅有感动,并不能够将爱情维持 .爱情的本身,除了感动,好象还有太多的琐碎.城市里并不缺少一个扛包工人,所以他回到乡下. 他偶尔会给她打电话,告诉她他现在种着大棚,挣了一些钱.她听着,淡淡的. 那时她已经有了新的男友,门当户对的,可以充门面,协调生活的那种. 然后某一天,他有一次打来电话,说他攒够了五千元钱,这些钱可以在乡下娶老婆了.她发现,突然间,自己的眼角,竟然有些湿润.她新交的男友也是每天接她下班,送她至电梯,很绅士地道一声晚安,然后离去某一天她说,背我上去吧.男友说 ,行. 那时电梯停在一楼,男友背起她,飞快地冲进电梯.她伏在男友的背上,与电梯一起爬升,心却在飞快地下沉.男友嘿嘿笑着,好象对自己这个带着幽默的小伎俩很是满意.那一天,她没有接受男友照例的吻别. 她给他打电话,她问他那五千块钱花出去了吗?然后她便发现自己泪流满面.他说花出去了。她扔掉了电话,那一刻, 她觉得自己正在失去整个世界. 几天后她在电梯门口看到他,他的手里拿着一枚戒指,很高档. 他把戒指扬了扬,说, 五千块.她乐了.然后她开始哭泣,哭得一塌糊涂.她说背我上去?他说好.然后他背着她,一步步爬着楼梯.途中他累了,他说这次让不让休息,她说不行不行.他就沉默着,一直爬到了13层.这时她想,如果一个男人,肯背着一个女人爬最漫长的楼梯,甚至可以不问理由,那么,这个女人,还有什么理由拒绝他呢?她给了他一个长久热烈的吻.

At Last

at last i have to go out from college…i really cannot accept wat was happen to me last2 week….how could i failed my paper????how could i failed?????
i really cannot accept what was happen to me….Luckily i have my mom…she fully support me….she say no matter how she oso will wait me until graduate….my brother oso accompany me when i was down…
i really lost my way when i noe my result….i no more student now..i hv to suspend for 8 month jus because failed one paper……i really cannot aspect that paper i’ll failed…..
My daddy was fully disappointed…almost one week he never talk to me….but now he start talk to me…eheheh
i really accept everything…i have to thanks my room mate Yanti…she really support me when i was down…i help me to move my thing back to house…i really miss my classmate now..i miss them alot….i miss our time when we get together….i miss you all….
I will be back to college if they accept my application next years..if not i better kill my self to let my insurance cover to born…..hehehehe
i’m now very busy on my work……everyday working working and working…..every morning i will go youth par to spend my time to exercise than i will go working till 8 pm than i will go my HQ lepak…hehehehe That my daily work……hmmmm sumthg i will go night club just release my tension…..i still a good girl la…hehehhe